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Hold'em Career: Offline Poker

Actual Clown Productions LLC · Games · 1mo old

$4.99 · PaidNew
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Rating · WW

5.0★

2 ratings

Chart position

Rank history — US · Top Paid

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Ratings count — US

2

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About

Hold'em Career is single-player poker with real consequences and zero real money. You get a bankroll and a seat. Everything after that, you earn. THE FRIENDS TABLE Every career starts at a home game among friends — six soft players whose dossiers are open from the first hand, each with one obvious tell to find and exploit. Beat the game for $200 and you graduate to the real ladder. It's poker with training wheels that come off — and if you don't want them, switch them off in Settings. THE RUN Sit down with exactly one buy-in — no rebuys, no top-offs. Walk with your winnings or lose the stack trying. Bank enough to move up: $100, $200, $500, and finally the $1,000 game. Go broke and the run is over. Milestones you've earned carry forward, so every ruin starts the next run a little stronger. There is no chip store and no way to buy back in — that's the entire point. THE TABLE Fifty-three opponents in all, and not one is a difficulty slider — they have habits. Marcus the retired accountant plays nine hands a night and never bluffs the river; Dolores pays to see every flop; the pros upstairs punish every loose call. Play enough hands against someone and their dossier opens one layer at a time: who they are, how they play, their real numbers, and finally the secret that beats them. And they study you back — each character builds a read on your game and starts adjusting, respecting the nit's raise and resisting the maniac's. Tilt is real: stack someone and watch their next hands get looser. SIX WAYS TO DEAL No-Limit and Fixed-Limit Hold'em, Pot-Limit Omaha, Short Deck, Five Card Draw, and 2-7 Single Draw — each with a hand guide tuned to the game you're actually playing. EVENTS, THEN A CHAMPIONSHIP CIRCUIT Beyond the nightly cash game, events come to town on a hands-played clock, never a wall-clock timer: The Deep End, The Turbo, The Shootout, The Invitational (the whole cast across five tables merging to one), The Duel, The Underground, and The Hall — where the ten Legends of the game sit down and only a champion walks away. Build a $20,000 lifetime bankroll and a second calendar opens: seven Championship Events — the Grand Prix, the Circuit, the Open, the Summit, the Masters, the Premier, and the Championship itself — fixed-buy-in fields against the toughest lineups in the game, from a $3,000 seat up to the $10,000 table at the title match. WHEN IT GOES WRONG Broke mid-run, someone at the table may offer a stake — at their terms. Take the loan and they're inside your winnings until you're square. Bust while you owe them and the run ends with a burned bridge. LEARN THE GAME FOR REAL Every hand is recorded. Replay any of them with every hole card face-up and an explanation of why each opponent did what they did — no other poker game tells you why. The coach reviews your sessions afterward — pot odds, position, the calls that cost you — and shows the leaks in your actual numbers (VPIP, PFR, win rate by seat), each with a plain-English deep dive. Want help in the moment? Optional hints suggest an action at your Hold'em decisions, with your equity — training wheels, not a solver, and off by default. NO CASINO NONSENSE No real money. No chip store. No ads, no accounts, no internet required. Seventy-eight achievements that pay nothing and prove everything. The bankroll can't be bought — that's the whole point.

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#49latest · best #49 in 90d

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Released
Sep 12, 2026
Category
Games
Content rating
17+
Price
$4.99
In-app purchases
No
Developer site
holdemcareer.actualclown.com ↗

Screenshots

10
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